Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Healing and Growing

Thank you to those who have prayed and encouraged us through this loss of our friend.

The memorial service was today, and although it was a time of seeing some friends we do not get to see often, it was a bittersweet time.
We can rejoice at Kyle's being with the Lord, but we are shedding tears at the thought of his death, and of missing him, missing all we would have shared with him, all the life he would have had.

It causes a person to be very introspective, analyzing our lives in relationship to our impact on others.
How we may say we will pray, and do we? We say we care, but do we take the time to really build relationships and be there for others?

I know we cannot be close and of great support to everyone that God puts in our path, but there are those few that we are called to take time with. To share a bit of ourselves with, and to let them share themselves with us.

It takes time, a lot of time. It takes a commitment. It takes following through. It takes listening to the Holy Spirit, and not putting off what we are nudged to do.
It means taking our eyes off ourselves so we can see others. It means putting some of our own pain aside, so we can share the pain of others.

Our granddaughter, 14, was receiving a math award at her high school tonight. We only found out at the last minute.
The thought never crossed my mind when we were drying our tears so we could be there for her, that we would be walking into a school filled with kids just like Kyle. Kids with needs.
Kids who might have aching hearts. Who might have pain no one knew about.
I looked at those kids differently. I looked wondering. Wondering if anyone was connecting with them. Did they know they were loved? They all looked so happy on the outside. Were they really happy? Or do they have secret lives where they ache, and their joking is only to cover up their hurt selves? And what about us? Are we in pain but we laugh and cover it up?
Or do we have a friend we can share our pain with? I'm thinking we need to open up and share our real selves with each other. We need to love and be loved, in pain and in joy.

Well, I'm pondering, and you are all good listeners. I'm grateful for that.
I do hope we all learn something from this heartache, and other things that touch our lives so deeply. And that when we realize some of these things, we chose to do something about it. Care more, listen more, hug more.

I expect i will shed more tears for awhile, as many will. But with time God will ease the pain and fill our hearts with joy once again. He will turn our sorrow into gladness and our mourning into dancing. His mercies are new every morning.

Blessings, and thank you,
Barbara Jean


Susie Mitchell said...

Very well said, my friend. Loss is always difficult; especially under such circumstances...and how often we look inward to see if we could have...should have done something differently. The very best we can do is start move forward with Christ as the center of our lives. Study His watchful and listening as He leads us. We don't get to redo yesterday...only to do the best we can today. God Bless you, Barbara...what a sweet, beautiful spirit you have.
Prayers & Hugs, Susie

Michelle said...

Even through your loss you are inspiring...that's amazing! God Bless ~Michelle

Thanks for visiting and the comment

BarbaraJean said...

Thank you for sharing Barbara Jean. I loved your words... especially the part about "saying we will pray, and do we?" It takes a concentrated effort to "be doers of the Word and not hearers only." To be a doer in prayer when we say we will. I am thankful for the privilege of praying for you in your situation. I see prayer as just that, a privilege. You get to hold that person up to our Lord knowing he hears and answers prayer. Blessings, BarbaraJean