Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I'm seeing color again

I'm seeing color again.
For some time I have felt like I was under a cloud that was sucking the life out of me. As hard as I tried to focus on the Lord, it was like I just couldn't connect with Him. I either felt nothing, or felt like crying. I was going through the motions of life, but there was no joy.

Well, every moment was not like that, but the times of joy were fleeting. My grandchildren: they bring me joy. My sweet fella brings me joy. Serving others at the store brought me joy. But all in fleeting moments.
Anxiety overwhelmed me every morning when I got up, but waned as the day went on. Busyness would fill the spots where emptiness seemed to loom. But it only covered it up.
And the things that would usually cover it up no longer did it as well.

I prayed, I asked friends to pray. Still, some underlying darkness prevailed in my quiet moments.

Well, yesterday, and today I felt better. I felt like the cloud was lifting. I saw color again. I saw flowers instead of weeds. I saw the brightness of all God's creation around me. I saw hope.

Is there a secret, instant answer to how this happened? Did I do one certain thing that made yesterday and today better? No. I wish there was. I wish I could say to those of you who feel the same as I did, "do this, and it will all go away. Do that, and it will get better." But there isn't.

Saying to 'persevere', to 'hang in there', is easy to say, hard to do. But, we must do it.
We must continue to be willing to be healed, shaped, formed, loved.
I persevered. With the help of friends, I hung in there, although some days I slept extra, I watched TV more. I'm still here.

We must continue to cry out to God with out heartaches, our loneliness, our hurts. We must continue to praise and thank Him, even when we do not feel a thing when we say it. We must continue to have friends pray for us, even when we fear they are sick of hearing it. That is the enemy. He is a liar!! We are here to support each other in times of need. And we all have seasons when we need help. We need each other!

God knows our hearts. He knows our desire to please Him. He knows our desire to be whole, and healed. He is there, and willing. He is reaching out. He sees us as a blooming, and beautiful flower.
He rejoices over us with singing. He loves us.

Can you, will you, reach out to Him? Can you go just one more day? One more mile? One more step? YES. YOU CAN!!! YOU HAVE THE POWER OF THE RISEN LORD IN YOU!

God's blessings and peace as you walk with Him.


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Dancing Before the Lord.

My morning insight:

David shed his clothes to dance before the lord
His clothes represented encumbrances in his life.
Once removed he was free to dance.

Lord, Please help me not to be sidetracked by the things of this world.
Set me free from encumbrances, that I might freely dance before you.
Thank you Jesus. Amen

Sweet blessings friends.

barbara jean

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Thank You

Taking a moment to thank the Lord for all His blessings.
Among them, my friends who take time to read this blog,
and the 100 that have so graciously signed up to follow it.

May God Bless you all with an awareness of His presence
as you walk each day trusting Him.
His Peace and Grace to you.

Barbara Jean

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Hearing His Heart Beat

You know how a child sits on someones lap, and their head rests on that persons chest?
You can hear their heartbeat. It is very loud, and you can settle in and become focused on it.

This was my friends prayer for me today:

"Father, please show Miss Barbara Jean how special she is today. Hold her close to your heart, so close that the tempo and steadiness of its beat will calm her and give her peace. We thank you, because of your amazing grace, that we can come to you with our petitions and that you care about us so much! In Jesus name, Amen."

So, I closed my eyes, and envisioned myself as a child, sitting on Jesus lap. My head resting on His chest, His arms around me. I feel safe, and loved.
I was listening for His heartbeat.
Then I realized that the white noise of the computer was getting in the way. That I could not hear it clearly, or enjoy the peace it would bring.

So, as soon as I finish this, I am turning the computer off.
I'm going to sit with Jesus, let Him hold me tight, and listen to His Heart Beat. I'm going to receive the love and peace that only He can bring.

I hope you will take time to sit with Jesus. I hope you will quiet yourself, listen to His heartbeat, and feel surrounded by His love.

Blessings on your day.

barbara jean