Dancing....why am I not dancing?

My Mom and I were driving thru the small town she lives in, and saw a man crossing the street, and he was dancing, and smiling and waving his hands.

Two ladies were crossing the walk going the other direction, and well, 'avoided' him, and looked at him like he was crazy.

When he waved at us, I smiled and waved back. It was fun, and I was actually jealous that he could walk around dancing and singing and waving his arms.

My Mom said he is around town all the time doing that, and that she was told he is harmless.

I longed for the day that I used to dance, even in my own home. I would turn on my praise music, and actually dance around, and sing, and sort of 'exercise'. I loved it. It was so free. I was free.

What happened to those days? What happened to singing and dancing before the Lord?
Has life gotten so busy, so filled with business and other things, that I do not 'feel' happy enough to dance any more? How do I get that back?

I am bipolar, but have been stable for a long time....no big ups, no big downs.
Each morning when I wake up, I CHOOSE to smile, and great the Lord, and give him my day.
Do I usually 'feel' like smiling? No. It is  a choice I make.
And I choose to get up, get dressed, go for my morning walk, and sing.
Yes, I sing. Not because I feel like it, but because it is a good thing to do.
I sing praises to my God.

When I get home, I read devotions, and pray...well, sometimes I just get busy with my day and do not really' pray' but God is on my heart all day long, and as people come to mind, I lift them up to Him.

Sometimes, on my sort of average days, I wonder if it was better when I was really down for a season.
I know after that there was a high time....life was more exciting, more visit, I laughed, and sang and danced.
But I remember those down times too clearly. It was not worth it. seems like it was forever I would be down, and only a short time I would be up.

So, I'm choosing to live a contented life. I 'choose' to smile, I choose to sing. Am I dancing yet? not quite.
But it will come. It WILL come.

What will your choice be today? Will you make choices that will help your day be better? Or will you let yourself stay down, stay secluded, stay.....unreachable. Those walls will have to come down eventually.
Why not today? God has given you this day. It is a gift from Him. Make it the best day you can.

And if you cannot make it better for yourself, make it better for someone else. Do something kind. It will help you quit thinking about your own sorrow, and you will bless someone else.

Be blessed everyone.
Hope you did not mind me thinking out loud here.

Barb