Friday, May 14, 2010

Baring Part Of My Soul About My OCD

I know not too many people read this blog, but I also know God will send just the right people to read it today.

Those people who know about OCD. (for those of you who do not, it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).
OCD manifests itself in different ways in different people.
It usually shows up for me when there are things I have buried and do not want/or know how to deal with, but it is time to deal with them. I would deal with them if i knew how.

I am fortunate, in that my OCD is not destructive to myself or others, but it does cause much anxiety for me.

All that said, and not being willing to share the signs of my OCD, (some would sound pretty ridiculous), I am asking for prayer as I sit here shaking, and crying, and feeling sick with it all.

My anxiety level is off the charts, and of course the only time you feel any relief is when you are doing the compulsive thing for a bit. But that causes anxiety because you know what you are doing is out of control. No matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to stop.

You can see it is a vicious circle, and makes me feel crazy and out of control, which makes it even worse.

I do not seem to be able to still myself when this comes on. To quiet myself before the Lord. Maybe it is fear. I don't know.

Enough said. Please pray.


Barbara Jean

PS I just have to tell you, one of my symptoms is too much computer time in blogland. A place I really love to be, but it is out of control. It must feed some need in my soul.
thanks for prayers.


Dragonlady said...

My sweet Barbara jean, i am praying for you now and will continue to pray that God will give you the strength to deal with this...

Much Love

Garden Antqs Vintage said...

Barb, I'll be praying with you that God would heal you of this. I do read your blog but often times in a hurry and don't comment. Hope you have peace today. One of my fav scriptures is Prov. 3:7-8 Be not wise in thy own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.


Father God,
I am lifting up to you Barb for Peace that she is asking for. For healing of her OCD and anxiety. We Love you and Thank you that you do want the very best for us. Thank you Jesus, in your Holy Name we pray..
Sending you a huge HUG..
I can relate to being on the computer too much and am trying to limit myself. I do believe that God uses the internet!!
Take care.
Deb :)

Chatty Crone said...

I'll be praying too.

I don't know if you have tried getting out and volunteering somewhere. I have read the best way to get over anxiety is to get out there and be busy. Don't think I don't care - was just something I heard.

Prayers and hugs.

basia said...

Dearest Barbara Jean,
My heart goes out to you. There are medications for the diagnosis of OCD which are helpful. As a former clinician, may I suggest you consult your doctor to discuss your options. Keeping you in the light. Always, Barbara

Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

Barb, I cannot imagine what you go thru, I get a little touched about getting things done, not sure if it's OCD or not... there is just so much going on around here all the time anymore I feel like I'm always running behind.. I'll pray for you and peace coming your way dealing with this..hugs ~lynne~

clustres said...

Sending prayers your way.

Diane Costanza Studio said...

Barb, I work with a co-worker who has OCD and I have an idea of what you are going through. Medication has helped her tremendously, and the understanding of friends and family helps as well. Know that your readers care about you and are saying a prayer even now that you are able to find a way to cope with this affliction.

Many blessings,

The Rustic Victorian said...

Dearest Barbara Jean,
I will pray for you, God is good and knows the desire of your heart...and do seek professional help to find balance and peace.I know you will be better soon.

expwoman said...

I came across your post in a google alert, and will take it to mean I was meant to read it. I am so sorry that you are struggling with ocd fear and anxiety right now. I've been there, and I write about it on my blog, ExposingOCD, if you ever want to read something by a kindred spirit.

Unknown said...


I just stopped by your blog after the kind note you wrote me and was scrolling through and found this. I wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and hoping for a miraculous turn around in your condition. I, too, have OCD tendencies and so far it's just been a silly joke between my husband and I. Yet, I often find myself doing things with complete disregard to self-control---just totally compulsive---and it's scary. I will ask God to help me remember to pray for you often and I know he will bring about the right healing and/or peace about it in the right timing!

Your friend,


Unknown said...

Your are in my prayers. As a fellow sufferer I know what you are going thru. Know that God is with you and understands your affliction. He does not condemn you for it. He loves you dearly as his precious child.
Blessing for you, Karen