Sunday, February 12, 2012

Comfort in Loss

I'm fine. I really am fine, tho' you might have wondered
after me not posting on this blog for awhile.

My last 3 posts were about my dad's passing in November, and steps in processing that.
Steps of grieving, confidence, confusion, and repentance of my pride.

Now, I will share some of grief's process again.

After about a month of just being in a daze.... I mean a real daze....
as in not even knowing what was real, and what was a dream....
of sitting and looking at a tree, and wondering if I went out and touched
it would it be real. Of driving down the road and wondering if I was really there in the car,
or was it just a dream?
of trying to think but everything was all muddled inside my brain. All mixed up.
Not being able to think clearly to make even the simplest decision....

Yes a month of that.

 I shared those thoughts with others.
Some thought I was crazy, but too kind to say it.
the look on their face made it quite clear they had no clue what I was talking about.
That was....OK.

But when I told others I found comfort.....They had experienced the same thing.
Oh so comforting to know I was OK. To know this was part of the process.
To know I was not crazy. To be able to comfort each other.

Comfort: that seems to be the key word right now.
Had I not shared how I was doing, what I was feeling,
I would not have found that comfort........
and I would not have been able to comfort others either.

And I know that part of why we go thru things is so that we can help others.
To let them know they are not alone. To let them know how ever they are feeling is OK.
To walk thru the process, and grow because of it.

Thank you Lord, that you are the Great Comforter, and that your use your children to show your love.

blessings all,
more soon
barbara jean


Anonymous said...

Dear Barbara Jean,
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your father.  I understand, as I lost my mother two and a half years ago.  It put me into a daze and a cocoon as I withdrew into thought and prayer, then found quiet comfort in drawing, writing, music and movement, art, design, crafts, word puzzles, and family and friends. I still cry and can't believe one's mother can really pass on.  I had a Spirit Dream early on that helped, but the little girl in me still cries for my mother.  She is all around me, little altars of sorts, and she is at home in my heart, in my mind, in my bones and flesh, in my spirit.  I rejoice and give thanks for her, and I am always sending blessings to her.  The grief for such a deep loss has become a part of me, but I do find great joy in life.  I send a warm hug to you and a prayer that the love you shared with your father will be a constant, loving companion.  Many Blessings, Louise's Girl.  P.S. thank you for the beautiful blog :-)

Lea said...

I understand too my friend.
Nothin crazy ....
just REAL grief.
Barbara Jean I love ya dear Sister in Christ!!!

Thank you Holy Spirit for bringing comfort to our friend.

Tami Hacker said...

Barbara Jean,

My heart understands... today is the one year anniversary of my father's passing.

My thoughts & prayers your heart is comforted and filled with joy in his loving memories.


lynn said...

wishing you comfort and sending hugs, barbara jean:)

Donna@Conghaile Cottage said...

Oh Dear Barbara, My Prayers are with you! I'm just getting back here and seeing how much I've missed and "I am SO SORRY for your loss"! I wish I could hug you and take you for lunch and let you tell me all you want to say!
Many blessings and prayers are forever coming your way.
Big Hugs to you,