Saturday, December 26, 2009

Inside Olivia

I have a new friend, Olivia.

I do not have a picture of her yet.

She is a troubled person.
She feels alone, and a bother to everyone.
She just tries to stay out of the way,
and feels like it would be better if she were not even around.

I feel it will require a lot of time and love to get her back on track.

So, if I am not around much, you can just say a little prayer for us
as we walk and grow together.
Deep issues of the heart take along time to heal.

Blessings to all

barbara jean

PS I will try to keep my store, and other blogs going.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Today is our 41st Anniversary so I have put
together just some random pictures,
and some even more random thoughts for our special day.

I'm married to hard workin' guy.

He not only maintains our home of 38 years,
but our business property, too.

And, although he rarely utters a word of complaint,
I have gotten some 'looks' at times. =0)
(this is not one of him
He won't let me take those pictures!) =0)

But mostly, he is a happy guy.

After all his hard work,
he deserves a rest.

Sometimes it's sitting on the couch
with a cup of coffee...

or laying down for a serious nap.

or maybe recouping with a round of golf.

And now he has retired
after 38 years of work.
38 years of supporting a family.

And I am most grateful to him for all his hard work.

In addition to all his hard work,
and recoup time on the golf course,
we play together.
Laugh together.

and celebrate life toghether.

He is a wonderful Dad,

and Grandpa.

And a loving husband.

who knows how to make me feel special...
with love notes in he sand....

even helps pick up rocks

for his wife to paint on. =0)

He is a gift to me from the Lord.

My prayer for him is that he will
have good health for many years so he can enjoy retirement,
and that he will walk each day with our Lord..

and that we will...
each other, with a deeper love,
as we grow closer together, and closer to the Lord..

Happy Anniversary my sweet fella.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I'm Doing OK Now

I haven't written anything here for awhile.

As a matter of fact, I've sort of been in limbo I guess.
You know, going through the motions of life,
but everything seems like it is a fog.

A cloud of sad holding you down,
making it hard to focus on what you are doing.

Sometimes life just hands you things
that take awhile to filter through,
before you can talk about them.

But I am feeling better.

My walk with the Lord was never an issue.
I knew He was near, but I could not, or did not, know how
to grab hold of Him for the comfort I needed,
or the compassion I usually have for others.
I could not feel anything but sad.

If you just looked at me on the outside,
I probably appeared fine,
except for looking tired some times.

But inside, part of me had disappeared,
left for awhile,
trying to figure life out.
Trying to understand what I was to do with the sad
that engulfed me.

Tears were rare then.
I just felt numb.

But at some point recently there was a turn.

I don't know when, or how.
I do not remember praying anything different than I had.

But suddenly I felt joy returning to me.
I felt the presence of Him who was always there.
I began to let myself be comforted.
Cry, on the shoulders of friends.

I was able to smile again, from the inside.
My heart for others returned,
and once again I felt the closeness and love of my Savior.

I began to delight in what I had,
instead of dwell on what I was losing.

I saw how unimportant some things are,
in light of slowly losing someone I love.

Slowly losing my Dad to dementia.

We moved my folks here from Arizona a couple of months ago,
so my brother, sis-in-law, and I could help care for him.
Mom was very tired from carrying the load by herself.

We have seen him slowly decline,
and yet some days he is entirely with us,
and we are so grateful for those days.

I find I think of my Dad, day and night.
And since those few days ago, when things somehow turned in my heart
from sad, to peace and gratefulness,
it has become most important to me to spend time with them.
To make my Dad smile, and give my Mom moral
support and encouragement.
We play games, and visit, and share memories.

These are the important things, the things that will last.

So, this Christmas, in the midst of all the gift buying, baking, decorating,
parities, and hurry and scurry everywhere,
think about those things that are really important.

Stop what you are doing.
Take a deep breath.
Think about those you love.
They will not always be with you.

Time with them is the best gift you can give,
to them, and to yourself.

To those of you who have been praying, thank you.

Blessings to you, and those you love, this special time of year.

Barbara Jean