I'm sitting here this morning, with tears running down my face.
No, nothing horrible has happened.
That is part of what makes it confusing, hard.
If there were some big, sad thing, it would make sense.
It would make it.........OK? understandable? acceptable??
But there is nothing.
Then there is the soul searching.
What is causing the morning anxiety. The sad?
How much time to we spend on that? Trying to figure that out?
How many times we do claim the Lord's joy, and power, and peace, before we actually achieve it? Before we actually feel it?
How many hours a day can we work, how busy can we stay, to try to keep the feelings at bay?
Is there ever any understanding of what is going on?
Do we need to understand things in order to be healed?
If indeed healing is what needs to happen?
If there is wholeness at all?
Tears have stopped, but emptiness? sadness? still there.
Time for my morning walk.
Thanks for listening.